What am I doing here anyway?Posted: May 16, 2012
Okay, it’s Wednesday. Here I am, day three of this new blog and it’s time to start writing. What’s this all about, this “Project Reinvention”?
Here’s the dirt: A little over a year ago, I woke up one day and while I was getting ready for work, suddenly I just did not want to go. I started thinking, what the heck am I doing?! This can’t be what I was made for! This is not what I was put on this earth to do! The more I thought about it, the more I seemed to fall into a serious funk. Every day that crappy feeling was growing, manifesting into this obsession.
You see, I am a commercial real estate paralegal and I used to work for BIG law firms, complete with BIG paychecks but also complete with BIG billing requirements and BIG stress levels. Well, the BIG stress levels and BIG billing requirements were starting to tick me off. The prior year I had busted my butt for a firm, supporting multiple practice groups, multiple attorneys (“fish food” was what a fellow colleague described me as), only to sit at the year-end review table and be told what a great job I did, everybody loves working with me, the clients love me, but… “Lynn, it’s a numbers game; you know that.” I’m sure I don’t have to spell out the rest.
Can you say “fire in my belly”?!! That was the day that everything changed for me. As Diane Keaton said in Baby Boom “the rat race is gonna have to get along with one less rat”. I was not going to be part of the rat race any longer. I was done! SO, like a responsible good girl, I planned my exit strategy and over the next seven months I did just that; I planned, plotted and I made my exit. I left the big firm scene and accepted a position with a sole practitioner, took a BIG cut in salary, a BIG cut in benefits and left the BIG stress behind me.
Here’s the reality: It is 5 ½ months later. I got exactly what I wanted (well not exactly, but most would say it’s not too shabby) and with respect to the job/career, I pretty much have it made in the shade for all intents and purposes. But, that’s not the end of the story by any means. Why do I STILL feel like my life was meant for something else and why am I so obsessed with searching for it??? This Blog is part of my quest to try and find myself, find my God given purpose and get moving toward living that purpose.
That’s the beginning of the story and this Blog is part of the journey.